k8's escapades

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

what the f*&%$!?

parking tickets---are from the devil...minions of satan drop by your car when you are working and drop them on your windshield..today ruth and i were working..yes working...not out at a bar, not out boozing it up, but working...yesterday we had received a 25 dollar ticket..unbelievable..

so today wouldnt you know..i head out today and there is a ticket on ruth's car!!! unbelievable! i mean i am from boston where if you breathe wrong you get a ticket...i escaped boston to avoid getting tickets and eliminate the task of looking for parking spaces...the guy who hands out the tickets is this crotchety man with a large chalk stick who chalks your tires and then comes back and gives you a ticket....what do we usually do? well we usually see him in his "pope mobile" and sprint out to the parking lot...now we just bring a dish rag and wipe off the chalk marks on our tires...we hope that he is senile or that he soon will be...

i also realize that people ask very dumb questions...like on st patricks day someone actually came by the irish pub that i work at and asked if we would be open for st paddys day...where i replied, "no, we are all going to be out of town that day!"

i often try to give people guilt trips or say that things are broken to avoid doing anything at work...it never works to my benefit...in a perfect world it would be a sunny, ticket-free world minus really dumb people with dumb ?s...because folks, there are such things as "dumb questions."

nemesis of the day: i would have to say julia roberts..she is just a whiny biatch...have your babies already and get out of our faces!


Monday, June 28, 2004

its been a while...i missed u

sorry bloggers! been out and about trying to make it in this big world! i think i saw the ultimate today..a woman breast feeding her 4 year old at my table in my restaurant...

now, i am all about breast feeding..but a 4 year old!...i mean the fact that this little boy can WALK up to his mother and request that is kind of frightening...needless to say the surrounding customers where not impressed...

i saw dodgeball the other nite (just to see Vince Vaughn)not funny at all..

i am looking for another job..have an interview at a mexican restaurant...but you know when you are in the midst of getting a new job and you get the best customers, everyone is complimenting you, your manager loves you and then you get second thoughts...i hate that...i just wish i had customers from hell, who tipped 1% and i would ride off into the sunset before calling everyone of them a cheap bastard!

we will see..i need cash..Cali is expensive..

my friend john has a gig in fallbrook, ca this weekend and apparently Falbrook is the "swinging" capital of California...hilarious!!! awww the horror!!! something about swingers..they are in the same category as members of nudist colonies..they are people who shouldnt be naked and no one in their right mind would want to see them naked but they love it! yuck! i mean you never see a david beckham strutting his stuff around nude do you?

i am heading to vegas at the end of july..my friend, ruth, just got back..she said there are "hookies" everywhere (hookers)..well at least the ladies have "thunda down unda!"

peace out


Thursday, June 24, 2004

i heart burritos & the mechanical bull

hello my peeps!

sorry i missed you last nite...i went out with some friends from Boston who were out in Diego...

so yesterday...pretty standard...your occasional bad tipper as usual...now tipping--lets discuss..i am one of the best waitressese in diego..you know why? i have east coast mentality on the west coast scene...everthing is a little slow here...and i am full throttle, new york diner, in your face, all attitude and jokes and here is your check...for some reason this means these customers feel it is necessary to tip me between 8-10%..in boston, we could run after them screaming while throwing the pennies they had left for me tucked under their plates and cry, "you obviously need this $$ more than i do!" There was one point in Boston where some woman told me after she had eaten that she wanted separate checks--after saying no..she replied, "No, you are going to do this!" In which i slowly removed my apron and quickly turned it into a small noose, accompanied with the evil eye and the italian curse...she quickly just asked for the check...i find my worst tippers are not the 150 elderly people who come in to my restaurant, but business women...
when i see a short skirt, long jacket (see Cake song)come through those doors I am in the back doing sidework...separate checks, 8-10%..and i cant even say anything to them!!!! i got 30% the other day...i had to pick myself up off of the floor..so to all you customers out there...i only take 20%..if you dont like it go to In N Out!

So my friend Ruth and I were on the quest for cigarettes...unfortunately none of us had out ids on us...famous last words...ruth is from dublin and i am from boston where you can basically be 15 years old and go in and buy butts..ruth and i went to three separate locations where we were shot down for not having ids...no id..no butts..i am sorry if we look young..but i am definitely older than 18..first of all i have a wedding ring on and i was wearing my pub uniform...it was laughable...only in diego!

we went out with our pals last nite..we wanted to show them san diego --we went to this bar called the blvd...and what was it...country western nite!!...lots of cowboy hats and boots..scott was beside himself because they have one of the best jukeboxes in diego and we were stuck listening to billy ray cyrus and his achy breaky heart..then break out the mechanical bull..for some reason when the guys got on they were bucking them off..then the sexy vixen gets on a la "Urban Cowboy!" I am screaming buck her off...buck her off..didnt happen..that really bothered me..because i know if i climbed up on that there steer..i would face plant into the tarp...

i heart burritos...i love mexican food...the cooks at my work make me mexican dishes all the time...carne asada is mana from heaven!!!

scott is still performing with the satish collective although he stil rocks the 80s with his hits..special k8 on backup vocals..check out www.iam1982.com

nemesis of the week: its still sheryl crow (although she gets major points for solely dating lance armstrong and not creating any more annoying tunes)this one is dedicated to my friend rick levin.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

!Que Dia (What a Day!)

ahhhh work...why must we work? or why can't i be paris hilton or ivanka trump? i was a really good kid growing up...a little hyper, but a very good kid...my mum to this day said she never had any problems with me (except the 10 years of my love for bad boys)..she said that since i was a little girl i would sing in the shower every morning...so, basically a great kid who definitely needs a trust fund...not the case for ol' kate...

been working since 13 (paper route)... then worked at the rec dept cleaning dirty, sweaty men's gym towels, then off to mad maggies where i served free pizza to alcoholic anonymous attendees who sipped on snapple iced-t while they played pool and offered me 20 bux to run to the packy and get them a six pack, earlier that day i worked as a camp counselor taking care of 27 8-12 year olds while there parents never ever picked them up....pretty sad...in college worked at the cafeteria...and the reason why i still hate scrambled eggs and maple syrup..i loved working at the cafeteria because all the guys i worked with were named TONY, so it was pretty easy..once, in the real world i worked at a "hip newspaper" where i was paid $6.65 per hr to oversee a switchboard that had about 300 lines...i then started taking personal ads...another day i will talk about that...too funny for words..then off to the radio station where i worked 3 jobs got paid for 1/2 a job..met the following stars: g-love (my fave), tori amos (sweet..kinda out there..likes shoes) tommy lee (class clown), they might b giants (they might be a**holes), mike ness-social d (so sweet), david garza (sweet and beautiful) casper van dien (same as david garza), jason patric (see they might be a**holes), eminem (quiet, polite), jimmy fallon and his sister (so sweet), mike peters (the alarm) (very nice) finally tommy tutone (so sweet and polite)...

okee then the other jobs i have had all involved demanding bosses and others who thought i used the word "actually" to much in conversation..

now i am a waitress..today, the cook almost had a coronary when i asked him for shoestring fries..its like i stole his first born child..throwing pans, a man tantrum, a mantrum!

i found a lucky penny today..in my case unlucky penny...i did get a call for a job interview which was nice...then scott told me that there was a car for sale for $1000 down the street (mercedes) woohhoo..called the ladee..she said meet her at 630...feeling good about myself..picturing myself riding the streets, wind in my hair...met her at 630..her neighbor bought it!!!!! scott just laughed...i cried..

my mum was the first woman to work for volkswagen...she started when she was pregnant with me...she said that diesel was not worth it..so now i feel better...i asked her when the trust fund would kick in...she laughed...

i feel a lil better....

anyway, why do we work again?


Monday, June 21, 2004

to da bank

good morning..ok afternoon...today i went to the bank..now if any of you ever move to cali..you NEED a car...in boston the t was my mode of transportation..i took it everywhere and if i didnt take the t i walked...here..not possible!

the bus system in my town is ok...but comes every hour...its hilarious...no one is ever on the bus except me and the elderly..i met the cutest lil ol lady today--she told me she had a dog and a cat and she feeds the possumm and racoons in her back yard (EEEEK!!!) that is why i love public transportation--without it you miss out on some good material...

so anyway went for a loan and didnt get it...of course..i dont have any credit cards, no cellphone...all i want is a crappy car i can clunk to work in...i wish someone would come up to me and hand me a wad of cash..i think i deserve it!

it is nice and sunny today..no june gloom so i am happy..i have a "i had my coffee to late today" headache...

i cant wait to see fahrenheit 911 this weekend...i hope all you out there are voting this election! rock the vote!

i was tossing around the idea of maybe selling out, dying my hair blond and hitting the road with some background dancers..and i would act really dumb so i would get lots of money..i would intentionally say dumb things and try to get on tv...it seems to work for the simpsons & spears of the world...

so what is up with ashlee simpson..can anyone tell me..first of all, jessica and ashlees dad completely creeps me out...i think he should be under police investigation...he is just so creepy! ashlee claims that she is so angry that she is going to write a song...or basically, i am going to call up the talented musicians hired by my label and they can talk to me for 5 minutes and write the lyrics as well--ashlee you are so deep!

As for jessica simpson, she is trying to trick the teens of america that she wrote both "Take My Breath Away" and "Angels"...HHaAHAHAHAHAH..YOU WISH, jESS! Jessica is two steps away from being the center square on Hollywood Squares...right next to Ashlee, Britney & Alf.

a day in the life

hello bloggers! i recently got into blogging with the help of my friends meaghan & dan...they are much smarter than me and a lot funnier, but i am pretty funny..

today i stepped on a sea slug or some sort of squishy animal in the ocean...it is weird, i am from boston and the water is always cold...i am in san diego now, the water is 65 degrees and no one is in the water...

i am looking to buy a car..wish me luck..a red 1990 buick lesabre!

my bro is in rolling stone..i am so happy for him...i hope i get into rolling stone day..i may try out to be the lead singer of inxs...its a new reality show that is coming out next year...but then i would have to get implants and botox injections...i cant handle that..