k8's escapades

Monday, May 30, 2005

willy whistle.

as a child i was pertrified of clowns...when i was in kindergarten, there was a kidnapping clown in the woods trying to kidnap kids...i remember having lunch one day and all the kids ran to the window and screamed "Look at the clown!" Our teacher Mrs. Paris rushed us away to the classroom. Since then my fear of clowns has grown and grown. After the clown sighting in the woods, the town cut down all the trees in the woods. My imagination went wild. Teachers sent out a memo telling parents to look out for a clown in a blue van or a photographer in a blue van..ok. Everytime i saw a blue van, I would call my neighborhood male friend, Mike R. and scream, "Lock your windows, lock your doors, the clowns are coming!"

After this i was introduced to the movie "Poltergeist" where a possessed clown comes from under the little boy's bed and begins to strangle him. My dad also introduced me to Bozo and Willy Whistle. Bozo wasnt that bad, but Willy Whistle scared the absolute piss out of me. My dad told me that when Willy was a little boy he was running with a whistle in his mouth, tripped and it was lodged in his throat forever. When Willy spoke, his voice sounded like a whistle was caught in his throat--i think this was just a way for my dad to tell us not to run with whistles in our mouth.

In high school, my boyfriend Mike, used to torture me by luring me into my downstairs basement, say we were watching "Say Anything," and he would put on "It" or "Killer Clowns from Outer Space." He would sit on me until the movie was over--it was unbearable to watch!
At one of the Norwood parades, one of my friends paid a clown to come up to me and say "hi kate!" Another time, my dad went out and bought a clown mask one night...he knew i was home alone and he rang the doorbell--i answered the door and he said, "hi, is kate home?" In college, my friend Ray found out my phobia and i went in to my room one night and he was sitting in the dark with a clown mask on--i ran downstairs and there was a knife with ketchp hanging from the lamp. Nice friends and fam!

So, i do have a clown phobia--i share it with no one but the beloved Johnny Depp. Johnny, we'll get thru this clowny-clown world together--hand in hand.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

can carmen elektra play anything else

...besides a dumb slut?...she has been playing the same role all over the dial..from vh1's best rock moments to my new fave show House....no talent, fake boobs, 5 feet tall...whats so great about that?

i am in the wrong business

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

he was peter jackson meets ron jeremy..

today i decided i would go for a walk...around the wood..dont get me wrong the wood is a beautiful place but i prefer the city...after exiting my street i saw a male who lookied liek a mix between peter jackson (lord of the rings) and ron jeremy (numerous porns). He was staring at children playing in the park and that wasnt going over well with me...what i have taken from my dad was the "boston cop" look..that stare that scares the shit out of u...anyway, i was walking with my cellie talking to my new mate, Thelonius, and began to stare this dude down...with my black jackie os on...he immediately started walking on...my grandfather was a boston cop so i think it was passed down...i am by no means intimidating but i totally have that sixth sense. I immediately called colleen and told her (her kids play in that park)...i told her to describe this man to the teachers what this man looks like.she said, "Kate, how am i going to tell a teacher that this dude looke like Ron jeremy." Good point...

Just got back from hanging wwith my friend Kevin---Kevin was in Kuwait a little while ago..Kevin forgot his entire wallet and strangely enough remembered his credit card #..the manager came over and i said "kevin, ill take it from here." i preceded to tell him that Kevin just got back from Kuwait and we were just reunited...the manager was very sweet and asked Kevin about his tour...Later, Kevin was like "kate you idiot, i was in Kuwait like 2 years ago...oops...anway, after he took the credit card my italian came out..i started talking with my hands and karate chopped a pilsner glass...kevin was picking shards of glass out of his face while i accepted my oscar...

ps i had so much fun with the newlyweds megz & dan..jon, bubba raygracie and his lovely wife and who could forget my fave, justin (jackie graham)

had loads of fun with all of u...

Monday, May 02, 2005

pink? pink?

ok..i know that when you are brought into this world as a little girl--everyone wants to dress you in pink, but I'm getting really sick of being lumped in with the women who wear pink! The red sox come out with "women's apparel" for the season---practically all pink tank tops or muscle ts or caps!!! I have 2 pink shirts in my closet--i like pink but not that much! Last time i checked they were the red sox not the pink sox. Growing up I was a complete tomboy..lived in a neighborhood filled with guys...played ball with the guys, played hoops with the guys...i dont think i saw pink until i saw "Pretty in Pink"in the movie theater in the 80s..(strangely enough this is one of my fave movies, but identify more with Marry Stuart Masterson in "Some Kind of Wonderful." I wore toughskins, high top canvas nikes and a plaid shirt everyday...and it is hilarious because i still dress like that today! My mum thankfully understood my hatred for dresses and dressed me in boys cords my entire life...since then i have gotten a lil girlie--i get my hair dyed every month (celtic copper) and I get the ocassional rad shirt at H&M, but now i live and die by my chucks and miss sixty jeans...

so a word to the mlb....stick with the team colors when making "women's apparel." No more pink hats, pink tanks and pink booty shorts..red and blue--stick with it...be an equal opportunity clothing distributor.