k8's escapades

Thursday, June 30, 2005

i'm definitely not a virgin

When I was in second grade, I was at the lunch table and someone asked me if i was a "virgin." I whipped around and screamed, "i'm definitely not a virgin!" Awesome....

The boys in elementary school used to tell me that they would climb a ladder in the middle of the night and watch me sleep naked...that is definitely not true..eanyonewho has ever been in a bed with me knows that i wear a snowsuit to bed...probably due to the 3rd grade peeping toms...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

my bro is nuts

I get home from work--want to take a nap and find a dirty ventriloquist dummy sleeping in my bed underneath my covers...my brother evan found him on the road in Georgia--his name is "Willy Talk." Thanks for the lice, scabie, maggot riddled dummy under my clean sheets..dummy.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Smut @ Barnes & Noble?

I recently went to Barnes & Noble with my brother, Evan and i saw the most ghastly thing! As I was perusing my latest tabloid mag, an elderly man was trying to push me out of the way. I stepped back and saw him trying to reach for the "College Girls" nudie magazine. He was about 80, had his pants pulled up to his neck and he was not in teh least bit embarrassed that he was reaching for paper porn @ Barnes and Noble. Two seconds leater, a middle aged man began to reach for the same mag and they both scurried away like squirrels who had just found some nuts (no pun intended there). I was disgusted. I waited to tell Evan in the car. Evan made a very good point, "you don't buy Hustler in Barnes & Noble!" You buy it in some sleazy downtown no-name convenient store in the city! Not Barnes & Noble in the mall @ Walpole in the burbs!"

amen to that brother...