k8's escapades

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

remdog, glass eating & growing an inch

i have seen remdog three times--i say hello to him every time--he scuffles by me and grunts...i must not be his type..blonde and 23...

my long lost friend, Bill "the great Pendu" ate glass while eating Legal Seafoods takeout...he called up Legals and they really didnt care...Bill's father told him that "people at the carnival eat glass all the time..."

i grew an inch this week--i know im 31..but three people came up to me and said that i look taller...and i went to try a pair of jeans on that were really long for me.tried them on this week--perfect! my friend chris who hasnt seen me in 12 years claimed that i was 5'4, 5'7" with bangs (he remembers me from the big bang years).....still growing @ 31? it pays to be a late bloomer...

Sayings that i detest

Being in corporate america in what seemed forever...i have my most hated sayings...here's a go at it..

1. "FYI" (for your information)this red headed nightmare (not me) used to come up and say "FYI" kate..blah blah blah...hate it..

2. LOL-i hate it when people actually use it conversations like "yeah, i was totally like "LOL"

3. "She's/he's good people" or "She/he is a good egg." I dont even think that is grammatically correct...people should just drive themsleves to the nursing home while saying this...

4. "It's all good" "you go Girl" :Schizzle my nizzle.."anytime a white girl/guy tries to prove they have soul or a connection to the hood...its honestly quite embarrasing...

5. "i'm gellin like magellan" "i'm off like a prom dress" --who is the marketing dept for these in soles...they need to be shot...although i hate these, "i'm heading out like a baby" is quite funny..

6. Snail Mail--what brain surgeon made this up?

7. No big whoop...Stuart Smalley..anything that is overquoted from SNL...like when people say "yeah, he totally is my boyfriend...NOT!" Sorry to inform you but Wayne's World came out like 10 years ago..oh yeah overused movie quotes are the worst..."ALRIGHTY THEN!!!"

8. "He/she shit the bed!"--i dont need to know about your bowels while doing biz...

Monday, September 26, 2005

some awesome things that happened to me this past weekend...

1. i was walking in my neighborhood in somerville wearing an ac/dc shirt--and a 10 year old gave me the horns...you can't get anymore rock than that..

2. while attempting to become the girl who dances with bryan setzer in the stray cats' "sexy at 17" video, i was twirled out of control and took out a coffee table with a very graceful landing..

3. While entering a bar this weekend, the dj was playing michael jackson's "beat it..." there were two women on the dance floor attempting to do the moonwalk when colleen and i staged a "dance off" a la britney vs. justin. After a twirl and a split, the broads were gone...

4. Screaming "Pour Some Sugar on Me" only to be cut mid song by the DJ...a loud applause soon followed..

5. My grandfather claiming he puts crazy glue on his dentures because "he likes the taste."

Monday, September 19, 2005

dadisms 4

When i asked him for a ride recently he said "You're going to be pounding the Hushpuppy Highway tonite."

I am somewhat of a good luck charm with the Sox (except if I actually go the game.) My dad says to me tonite, "you better work that magic of yours...this team sucks!"

My dad was at a wedding the other nite..he told me he was "doing the funky chicken" on the dancefloor...

When he talks about a person who is white trash..his word for them is "a grundy."

"Here's 5 bux...Why don't you go to 7-11 and knock yourself out!" (Quote from my father after Colleen came over the first time to meet my family when i was 12--my dad put us to work and made us rake/bag the entire yard...he slipped us 5 bucks to split at Sevs...ahh grape slushs, lollies and butterfingers! I almost lost Colleen as a friend that day...

My dad used to talk about Evan when he was little..he would say, "you know how you run with your feet and smell with your nose? With Evan, his nose runs and his feet smell!"

My dad used to take Colleen and i to the Cape when we are in high school. We used to hate to go because we missed our friends and we would rather hang in D'angelo's parking lot and smoke Capri cigarettes. To beat Friday nite traffic, we would pick Colleen up at midnite...my dad would eat a whole bag of Salt N Vinegar Cape Cod potato chips, have every single window down in the car and would blare either Bob Seger Live , Jimmy Buffett or Van Morrison on 20!!! My fave quote of my dad to this date is...my dad puts his arms around Colleen and me, stands in front of the ocean and screams,
"Girls, in life, you might have a great job, a wonderful family, a great house, but this is what it is all about...getting back to Paradise!!!!"

he's kinda right....

Friday, September 16, 2005

things overheard @ the sox game last nite...

"dude, dont fahget--we gotta get Fonzi a steak & cheese" ( i wish i was making this one up)

"did you say skirt?" (some drunk dude in front of me in the beer line who heard me talking about my scar..") after i told him i said "scar" instead of "skirt" he said "well can i see your scar then?"

"look at her sheeert--it sayz im a wreck fer tek!!!! (drunk older ladee in the stands)

"thats where they play baseball!" (a girl telling a guy why there was such a crowd near fenway)

"honey, i dont care if the pope is pitching tonite--no ones comin'-i got tix at face value because of the rain and its thersday! (a scalper who decided to talk to me--he then proceeded to break into a 98 degrees song a la Nick Lachey)

"is that millah lite?" (some dude just standing in front of anna and i just staring at our beers for minutes!)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

best bday evah!

i want to thank my friends and family for the best bday evah!

following presents i received:

red sox beater
a stolen rock from johnny cash's house
best of vh and new shirt
the the cd and a dashboard jesus
beautiful green bracelet
tix to u2 at madison sq garden
sox tix
badabing shirt
star lamp
party @ sligo w/conronas & jukebox tune esp "Unchained" by VH

i do have the best friends/fam in the world? yes i do

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

dadisms 3

1. I feel like the bottom of a bird cahge!" (usually after a night of scotch)

2. "Sorry monkey, i aint got no more nanas!" (thats what he used to tell us to say to bullies)

3. "fine, i wont even say hello to you then..(after a sleepy kate ignored dad's screaming on why the red sox were getting slaughtered in the 5th inning..)

4."what do you think this is Anyhow? (i think that is when we leave stuff around)

5. "who do you think i am mr. tagaliere? (referring to the janitor at Mattapan grammar-he usually is saying this when he is picking something up-which he rarely does)

6. "Watch me do the fancy dan from Mattapan" (his signature basketball move which is a layup)

7. "Norwood, is the hub of the universe!" ( i thought it was Boston, but oh well)

8. "If you see someone walking down a Norwood street between 6a -9a--their crazy...

9. How would you like to be the third person in on that conversation!?" (when he sees 2 crazy people from Norwood talking to each other)

matt damon

ripped from my claws..

damn u luciana!

we will meet again, matt!

till then..

"take cahre, skylah" (boston accent)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

my brother adam

adam and i would brawl with each other over and over since we were babies...after Adam came hoem from teh hospital, my mum found me in his crib biting his fingers...fast forward to when we were 5 and adam (who has the biggest cranium of anyone i know) slammed into me...to this day i have a cracked skull..when i was in high school, adam was making fun of me and flipped me over my bed backwards..i got up like Mike Myers from Halloween and punched him out--he was out cold for appox 5 minutes--my mum and dad were having people over and quietly called for my mum..she came up the stairs and screamed, "what the hell is going on here?"

there was another time when adam thought it was a great idea to throw a 2 liter bottle of coke at my head when i wasnt looking...my mother wouldnt take me to the hospital because adam was in the hospital that week...and now i am a hideous gargoyle...with a scar..

adam and i went to college together--he used to streak the quad in a Bart Simpson mask...and his nickname was Speedy, apparently after a quick sex romp...i woul d have to wait in line to get into his parties because he was mr. bmoc...i found out the other nite that one nite he was drunk...a girl was coming donw the street on her bike and he clotheslined her...

adam made me do a 6 ft bong hit off a bunk bed and dropped me off at colleen's..def not in good shape...my mum gave us boxing gloves for xmas and we would come home from break and actually use them on each other..one night i was going out, all dressed up and adam turned the sink hose on me...i grabbed him by his neck, kicked him in the balls and threw him in the closet...my mum screamed, "you are 20 years old! i cant take this!!!"

now, dont get me wrong..adam is the best kid in the entire world..he is a changed man now--he dresses like Kanye and hangs in the South End w/ his wife Marci...i will be eternnally grateful
for all the scars and conditions he has given me...

more dadisms

1. "when i was living in la i was getting laid more than Frank Sinatra...

2. "with a face like that you need to show your boobs... (woman on espn)

3. He is a guy who "can't get enough of that funky stuff..." = (sex)

4. "Kate, are into the occult?" (observing my fascination with Haunted Houses)

5. "Kate, you are an educated woman!" (My dad's reaction to me reading US Weekly)

stay tuned for dadisms 3