k8's escapades

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Top celebs who just need to go away...

We are inundtaed by celebs lately--here are the celebs i feel should take themselves and stick themselves in between Shadow Stevens and Madame from Solid Gold.."I'll Take Jessica Simpson for the block..."

1. Jamie Foxx---Heyyyyyyyyy Hoooooooo--You gotta go...Everyone knows you played Ray Charles like ten years ago--now get the f outta here...Notice how he sings or drops hints about his upcoming album...everytime he sees a teleprompter

2. Paris Hilton-That's Hot--You are such a slut...end of story--take you rail thin ass and get outta Sundance.

3. Jessica Simpson--I am so happy we are seeing her real talent--working for Pizza Hut--"these bites are made for poppin? Nice career move Creepy Papa Joe!

4. Ashlee Simpson-For too many obvious reasons--I wish that manager from McDonalds clocked her in the giant nose with a 6 piece McNugget--you spoiled rich kid--leave...

5. Joel Madden (Good Charlotte) Any celeb I see at Sundance grabbing millions of dollars of stuff from Sundance makes me sick--why don't you give your Craporola 50000 to someone in Mississipi so they can call their family members....Word of advice to the kids today--you are not listening to good music---if you think Fall Out Boy and Good Charlotte are good--our future is doomed--rip into some of your parents vinyl or better yet put in a Men at Work cassette tape--

6. Lindsay Lohan-We get it--you want to be a serious actress--your life is fucked up--cry me a river--people are starving in Africa....and apparently LA too!

7. Oprah--the Golden Goddess--Oprah, you never do anything wrong--everyone bow to you--someone from Boston made up a rumor that Oprah was injured and in the hospital due to excessive patting (herself on the back).

8. Tori Spelling-ummm...why do you even have a second boyfriend? you cheated on your first husband--now engaged--and on top of being a lying cheater you look like your dad in a wig--oooh too low...

Good to get off my chest--if we eliminate these overexposed celebs--it will leave room for the Phililip Seymour Hoffmans, Paul Giamattis and Cate Blanchetts of the world--real talent, real class...

3 Comments:

At 1:44 PM, Blogger dantobindantobin said...

So glad you're back.

Remember, before "Any Given Sunday," Jamie Foxxx was an incredibly annoying standup and WB sitcom star. Also, just because you PLAY Ray Charles does not mean that you ARE Ray Charles.

 
At 2:01 PM, Blogger Boski93 said...

Sing it Sista Souljah.

Jamie Foxx is two bad films away from being Cuba Gooding Jr.

Paris, the word skank is now ashamed to be associated with you. And I think over-exposed media whore is not happy either.

Oh Jessica, you are such a survivor. Thank god you are working hard to remind us how little talent you have. Also you must count your lucky stars that Nick did not strangle you, because if a judge ever watched tapes of the Newlyweds. He would have walked. Hey sorry about the marriage. It must have been such a shock when you found Nick cheating on you, with USC Quaterback Matt Leinart. Hey good luck to you.

Ashley, life must ne tough when you are considered the New Coke of Simpsons Talent pool.

To Bad Charlotte, Fist in Face Boy, Nickleback Bacon. All of you suck. Same with a lot of you Hip Hop and R&B groups being passed off on us. Rap died when Ice Cube stopped being angry. To the record industry thanks, thanks for all the crap and killing alternative music. I hope you are happy. Excuse me I have to crank up "Be Good Johnny" right now.

Lindsay, shut your hole, eat a sandwich and take some acting classes. Also stop with the singing your hurting someone's pets ears. Just a thought.

Oprah getting duped. It was like Chirstmas coming early.

Oh Donna Thompson what are we to do with you. Favortie all time Tori Spelling moment. Back in 94 I was watching Conan and they had Kellie Martin on hyping her MOW "A Friend to Die For". They showed a clip of the moive. It was Martin attacking Tori Spelling. The audience loved it so much they showed it twice.

 
At 10:15 PM, Blogger BubbaRayGracie said...

Anyone who doesn't love Jamie Foxx must be a racist.

 

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